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Why Does Retirement Feel So Emotionally Unsettling When Life Loses Its Structure?
When work ends, the loss of structure can feel more unsettling than expected. This blog explores why retirement can bring uncertainty, identity shifts and emotional discomfort, even when it was planned or chosen.

Samantha Cooke
3 days ago3 min read


Why Do the Months After Christmas Feel So Difficult When You’re Childless?
For many people living with childlessness, it is not Christmas itself that feels hardest, but the quiet months that follow. When the noise fades and routine returns, grief can surface in unexpected and isolating ways.

Samantha Cooke
Jan 214 min read


Why Does Chronic Illness Feel Emotionally Heavier in Winter?
Winter can narrow life in ways that feel especially heavy when you’re living with chronic illness. As colder months bring isolation, fatigue and reflection, the emotional impact often deepens.

Samantha Cooke
Jan 144 min read


Why Do So Many Relationships Break Down in January?
January is often when relationships quietly unravel after the intensity of Christmas. When routines return and emotional strain surfaces, many couples are left facing difficult truths about what no longer fits.

Samantha Cooke
Jan 74 min read


When New Year Doesn’t Feel New
New Year’s Eve can feel tender when life has changed. While others celebrate new beginnings, you may be carrying grief, uncertainty or transition. This reflection explores why New Year does not always feel new, and how to move gently into January when the future feels uncertain.

Samantha Cooke
Dec 31, 20254 min read


The Ghosts We Carry at Christmas
Christmas often brings our deeper emotions to the surface, especially when life has changed. Whether you are living with loss, childlessness, separation, illness or retirement, this season can feel unexpectedly tender. This reflection explores the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future, and why this time of year can stir emotions we rarely talk about.

Samantha Cooke
Dec 24, 20255 min read


Wintering Inside: Why December Feels Tender When You Are Navigating Life Transitions, Loss or Unexpected Change
December can feel tender when you are navigating life transitions, loss or unexpected change. As the season slows and the world grows quieter, the emotions you have been carrying often rise closer to the surface. This blog explores why winter can feel so heavy inside, and how to support yourself with compassion.

Samantha Cooke
Dec 17, 20255 min read


The Ache of Longing: When Grief Holds What Could Have Been
A dandelion against a pink and blue sky, evoking reflection, hope and wistful grief. Introduction Longing is a quiet ache that can live beneath many forms of loss. It is the part of grief that imagines what might have been, that reaches for a future that never arrived, or a past that feels too far away to touch. Unlike sadness, which has shape and expression, longing can feel endless - a feeling without closure. It can visit you in quiet moments, in dreams, in the small pause

Samantha Cooke
Dec 10, 20254 min read


When the Future Changes Shape: Navigating Life After Divorce
Two wedding rings on a dark background, symbolising the end of a marriage and the reshaping of the future. Introduction Divorce is often described as a legal process, but the emotional journey that follows is far more complex. It is a profound life transition - one that touches identity, home, relationships, and the very sense of stability we rely on. Even when a separation feels like the right decision, it can still bring deep feelings of loss. You may grieve not only the r

Samantha Cooke
Dec 3, 20254 min read


When the Routine Ends: Navigating the Emotional Landscape of Retirement
A pair of worn work shoes on a wardrobe shelf besides a neatly hung white shirt and an empty hanger - symbolising the end of a working routine and the start of retirement. Introduction Retirement is often described as a reward - a well-earned rest after years of hard work. Yet for many people, it brings a mix of emotions that can feel surprising and sometimes unsettling. Beneath the surface of congratulations and celebrations, there can be uncertainty, loss, and even grief. W

Samantha Cooke
Nov 26, 20254 min read


When Connection Breaks: Living with the Pain of Estrangement
A broken bridge, symbolising emotional distance and lost connection. Introduction When we think about loss, we often picture death or physical absence. Yet some of the deepest losses are those that happen while everyone is still alive. Estrangement - the breakdown or distancing of a once-close relationship - can leave a silence that is heavy, confusing, and full of unanswered questions. Whether it’s with a parent, child, sibling, or friend, estrangement is rarely simple. It m

Samantha Cooke
Nov 19, 20254 min read


Take a Hike (Inner Critic Edition)
“Take a hike.” It’s a phrase usually said with frustration, a way of telling someone to back off or give you space. But what if we borrowed it for something a little gentler? What if we said it to the voice inside us that never quite lets up - the one that points out our flaws, questions our worth, and measures our days against impossible standards? That inner critic so many of us know well. Imagine taking it for a walk. Not to silence it completely, but to listen differently

Samantha Cooke
Nov 17, 20252 min read


When the Ground Shifts: Living with Chronic Illness and the Loss of Health
Person looking out of a window, reflecting the solitude and longing often felt with chronic illness. Introduction When your health changes, so much else changes with it. The plans you made, the routines you relied on, even the simple rhythms of daily life can start to feel uncertain. Chronic illness often brings a slow and quiet upheaval - one that others may not fully see or understand. You might still look the same on the outside, yet inside, everything feels different. Th

Samantha Cooke
Nov 12, 20254 min read


Balancing the Books Within: A Gentle Reflection on Emotional Accounting
I’ve been thinking recently about how much time we spend keeping accounts in everyday life. We check bank balances, manage bills, and make sure everything adds up neatly on paper. From an early age, we’re taught that being “in credit” is a sign of security, while being “in debt” is something to avoid. But what about our emotional accounts? The quiet tally we keep of energy given, care offered, time spent, and feelings held? Many of us are diligent emotional accountants. We ke

Samantha Cooke
Nov 10, 20252 min read


When Goodbye Comes on Four Paws: Navigating the Grief of Pet Loss
A rainbow arc representing the Rainbow Bridge and the love that endures beyond loss. Introduction Over the last few years, I’ve lost both of my cats. They were brother and sister, curious and gentle in their own ways, and both were sadly killed in separate road accidents. I had brought them home during a challenging chapter of my life, and they became my quiet companions through change and uncertainty. Losing them felt like losing part of my everyday rhythm. Even now, small t

Samantha Cooke
Nov 5, 20254 min read


Becoming Real: Reflections from The Velveteen Rabbit
A plush bunny representing The Velveteen Rabbit, a story by Margery Williams When I was little, The Velveteen Rabbit was one of my favourite stories. I remember being drawn to the softness of it - the love between the boy and his toy rabbit, and the quiet magic of becoming “real.” At the time, I understood it as a simple tale about love and belonging. But as an adult, and as a counsellor, I’ve come to see it as something much deeper. There’s a line in the book where the Skin

Samantha Cooke
Nov 3, 20252 min read


The Empty Nest: When the House Feels Too Quiet
An empty nest Introduction I was recently reading The New Neighbours by Claire Douglas, and one line stopped me in my tracks: “Our house, which had once felt so poky and overcrowded, will seem as empty as a beach out of season.” The image stayed with me. I could almost see it - the wide expanse of sand, the echo of waves, the emptiness where laughter once was. It made me think of the stillness that follows a full house once children have left home. What was once noisy, chaot

Samantha Cooke
Oct 29, 20254 min read


Life in Punctuation: Pausing, Ending and Beginning Again
Sometimes I think life is a lot like punctuation. There are times we need a comma - a pause to breathe, to take stock, to rest before continuing. The world moves fast, and it can feel as though we must keep going, yet the comma reminds us that pauses are part of the sentence too. Then there are full stops . Moments of ending. They can come through loss, change, or decisions that close one chapter and make space for another. Endings can be painful or freeing, sometimes both a

Samantha Cooke
Oct 27, 20252 min read


The Menopause and the Endings We Don’t Talk About: Navigating Change, Loss, and Finding Hope
Woman walking along the beach Introduction October is Menopause Awareness Month , a time to shine a light on an experience that touches every part of a woman’s life yet is still often misunderstood or unspoken. While the menopause marks a biological shift, it is also a profound emotional and psychological transition. It can bring changes in identity, confidence, relationships, and how we see ourselves. In my counselling work, I often meet people who describe the menopause not

Samantha Cooke
Oct 22, 20254 min read


The Ripples of Reflection
Light reflecting on water creating patterns As I settle into my second week back at work after my holiday, one quiet moment keeps coming back to me. I remember sitting in a walk-in pool, half-submerged, simply watching. The water moved gently, creating ripples that shimmered and shifted in the light. Shadows played across the surface, the sunlight dancing and refracting in ways that felt both calming and hypnotic. It struck me how mesmerising something so ordinary could be -

Samantha Cooke
Oct 20, 20252 min read
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