The Menopause and the Endings We Don’t Talk About: Navigating Change, Loss, and Finding Hope

Woman walking along the beach

Introduction

October is Menopause Awareness Month, a time to shine a light on an experience that touches every part of a woman’s life yet is still often misunderstood or unspoken. While the menopause marks a biological shift, it is also a profound emotional and psychological transition. It can bring changes in identity, confidence, relationships, and how we see ourselves.

In my counselling work, I often meet people who describe the menopause not just as a physical process, but as a period of loss, reflection, and redefinition. It can feel like standing at a threshold between one life stage and another - an ending, but also an invitation to rediscover who you are becoming.

The emotional landscape of menopause

For many, the menopause is far more than a list of symptoms. It can stir up unexpected emotions: sadness, anxiety, anger, or a deep sense of disconnection. You might find yourself mourning parts of life that are changing or gone - your fertility, energy levels, or even a sense of familiarity with your own body.

This sense of loss is often quiet and unseen. Society tends to focus on the practical or medical aspects of menopause, leaving little space for the emotional experience that accompanies it. Yet, like any major life transition, it involves both endings and beginnings. Recognising that can bring compassion to what can otherwise feel confusing or isolating.

The end of fertility and the grief that follows

For some, menopause can bring a sense of relief. For others, especially those who have faced infertility or childlessness, it can reopen old wounds. The menopause marks the closing of a door that may have remained slightly ajar for years - the end of the possibility of conceiving, the final chapter of hope that a longed-for child might one day arrive.

This can be a grief that is difficult to name. Others may not see it, but its presence is deeply felt. It is a quiet sorrow for the life that could have been, and for the roles and identities that now shift or fade. This kind of grief is often disenfranchised - not fully recognised or validated by society - which can make it even harder to process.

Counselling can help by offering a space to acknowledge that loss, to talk about it without judgement, and to find gentle ways of honouring both what has ended and what remains.

Menopause, identity, and relationships

The menopause can also affect how you relate to others and to yourself. You might notice changes in mood, energy, or confidence. For some, there can be feelings of loneliness or withdrawal, a sense of being misunderstood or unseen.

It can also bring shifts in relationships - with partners, family, or colleagues. These changes may cause friction or distance, especially when others struggle to understand what you are experiencing. In counselling, there is space to explore these relational shifts, to reflect on communication and boundaries, and to rebuild connection from a place of understanding and self-compassion.

Finding balance, self-acceptance, and hope

While menopause brings challenges, it can also be a time of rediscovery. Without the roles, responsibilities, or expectations that once defined you, there is room to ask new questions about what matters now. What do you need in this next stage of life? What brings you peace, energy, or joy?

Through counselling, it is possible to manage self-doubt and quieten self-criticism, to reconnect with your body, and to develop a more compassionate inner voice. Many people describe finding new confidence and strength during and after menopause - a grounded sense of wisdom and authenticity that comes from knowing yourself more fully.

In this way, menopause can become a period of transformation. The endings it brings make space for something new to emerge. Even in the moments of loss, there can be flickers of hope - not for what was, but for what might yet be possible.

Counselling and support through menopause

Counselling offers a space to slow down, reflect, and make sense of what you are feeling. It is a place where you can speak freely about the changes happening in your body and your life without fear of being dismissed or told to “just get on with it”.

Together, we can explore the emotions that arise during this time, from grief and uncertainty to the stirrings of new beginnings. You don’t have to navigate the menopause alone. With understanding, compassion, and hope, it is possible to move through this transition feeling more connected - to yourself, to others, and to the life you are shaping next.

In closing

The menopause is not simply an ending. It is a passage - a threshold that invites reflection, acceptance, and renewal. For some, it brings grief and loss; for others, it brings clarity and growth. For most, it is a blend of both.

If you are finding this transition difficult, know that you are not alone. Support can help you find steadiness in the uncertainty and rediscover a sense of hope for what lies ahead.

About the author:

Samantha Cooke is an integrative counsellor based in Ascot, Berkshire. She supports adults (18+) who are adjusting to life’s unexpected changes - from relationship losses and family estrangement to childlessness or retirement. Samantha offers a calm and supportive space where clients can explore their emotions, rediscover stability, and move forward with renewed confidence.

Contact Samantha here: CONTACT | Samantha Cooke